BIG BROTHER UNCLE VIBES

I just got back from the Hobart improv festival which was AWESOME! While I was down there, I saw something that made me think of the power of support and the power of being ok with embarrassment. 

As you may or may not know, I am pretty much famous for telling peeps “Try to embarrass yourself at least once a day so you become impervious to embarrassment because most people will do anything not to be embarrassed- they let fear rule them. But when you can be embarrassed and ok with it then you are unstoppable- you win the game of life”.

This fear of embarrassment and ridicule comes to us at a young age. When we start to be aware of the social norms and ‘unspoken rules’. We fear being ‘uncool’.

I once had a friend abandon me picking up the contents of my bag outside a shop because she was just so vicariously embarrassed by my clumsiness…..LOL. I rewarded her disloyalty by yelling out her name and saying, ‘aren’t you going to help me?’ Which of course made her even more embarrassed. LOL. I was young but even then, I remember feeling sorry for her because she was so restricted in her life because she cared so much what other people, including people who didn’t even know her, thought.

Years later she would break up with a rich, good-looking guy with a lovely personality because he ran after her professing his love in the street and struck his head on a pole. “OMG Lindsay it was SOOOOO embarrassing”. I said “Wow, was he ok?” she said, “Who knows, I just left him there”. He ended up calling her and asking what happened. She told him she just couldn’t see him anymore without seeing his head snap back off that pole so she ended the relationship. Apparently, it was all too embarrassing.

Anyway, I digress…..
 
While I was in Hobart I went to a very cool and funky bookshop that also had home wares, a bar, snacks and a cinema. It was warm and pleasant and a great respite from the 7 degrees outside. People were milling around with wine glasses perusing books. It was all very sophisticated and ‘cool’.

As I walked down one of the isles, I overheard a conversation between a little boy of about 7 and what seemed to be his uncle or perhaps a big brother and they were looking at some of the home wares. The little boy picked up a scented candle and said, ‘this smells like mum, it’s nice’. I thought it was so sweet that he had an olfactory representation of his mum, and he said it so sweetly.

The brother-uncle picked up the candle and said ‘Does it smell like her? Oh cool!’ And just as I was appreciating the sweet exchange and had passed them in the isle, the little boy farted.

Like really loud!
There was even a slight smell.

The little boy was shocked and started to sound panicked. ‘Oh no! Oh no! I’m sorry, oh no…..’ he sounded on the verge of tears the poor wee thing. My heart went out to him. I knew this could be an important moment for him about being embarrassed.

Big brother-uncle came to the rescue. ‘That’s ok mate, don’t worry about it, we all do that!’ ‘It really is ok’. The boy calmed down and listened to the uncle-brother. I felt so happy. He didn’t ridicule him.
He normalised it.

These type of moments happen to us when we are kids all the time and if people ridicule us for our embarrassments, it can have a terrible effect on our self-esteem, not to mention create protectionist tendencies to always look like we ‘have it all together’.  For some people feeling embarrassment can feel like they are literally dying!

That is what I LOVE about improv. We play, be silly, embarrass ourselves, have fun, make mistakes, all the while supporting each other in our messy, embarrassing, non-perfect humanity. ‘YES AND’ we say!

No matter how stupid, dumb, unfunny, uncreative, uninteresting the idea- we say yes!

This playful environment of unconditional positive regard fosters self-expression and healing of old wounds from long ago when we broke the ‘rules’, were ‘uncool’ and were made to feel bad about our stupid ideas, dumb suggestions and embarrassing behaviour.

 
Embrace the embarrassment! Support the stupidity! Reject the rules!
 
And if you can be a supportive BIG BROTHER UNCLE to someone today…..do it! :)


 
May the joy be with you!
Lindsay. x


 
REMEMBER:
If you want to learn how to embrace embarrassment, let go of perfectionism or just be a bit more playful then it is time to try improv! You can do one on one sessions with me, online, and I will support you in starting to let go of some of those old blocks that are holding you back from really being you!

BOOK IN TODAY!
https://calendly.com/improvhubsessions/improv-hub-coaching-session