Make your partner look good!

Just over a month ago I went to the local sports club with a friend for some dinner and a dance. At first there was no one up dancing but that didn’t bother me. I am renowned for being the first to get up and dance in public even on my own. In fact, prior to this night, I had come to the club on my own and danced alone. Of course, when you start the trend people start to join you, but there have been times I have danced alone a good half hour before others got up.

This time however I wasn’t alone, I had a good friend and improviser with me. We were having fun freestyling and making up choreography on the spot. After a few songs we sat down for a rest and an older guy got up and started dancing (very uniquely) on his own, I thought he may have had a little to drink and was tipsy. His son was still sat down at the back of the room cheering him on but wouldn’t join him.

You could see people laughing (not necessarily in a good way) at this man and his ‘unique moves’. My friend said, “We should really get up with him, I feel bad for him”. I agreed and we started to dance around him. At first, he was in his own world, but I made it a point to copy his moves and then he started copying me, then my friend cottoned on that we were mirroring each other (a classic technique in improv) and joined in the choreography. Because by now, that is what it looked like- choreography! We managed to get so in synch with this stranger that every move looked ‘meant to be’!

The feeling in the room changed and the audience started to invest in the dance. There was one moment that felt sublime. I noticed him walking back and forward and I did the same and at a certain point I saw him hold out an imaginary football in front of him and as he did, I did. The next minute in complete synchronisation we kicked our respective imaginary balls into the audience and there was an audible gasp. A communal ‘wow’. And thunderous applause. It was a moment of pure magic. This man had gone from being the butt of some unspoken group joke to a hero.

After a while my friend and I needed a break to catch our breath and as we sipped our water and sat in our little booth, she looked at me and said “Wow Lindsay, you really walk the walk, don’t you? I mean you really believe in that improv principle of ‘Make your partner look good’, I never would have thought of bringing that principle into my everyday life, but I will from now on! There you were making him look good, and it worked!” I smiled and thanked her for the compliment and for noticing.

I’m the kind of person who tries to genuinely compliment and encourage others and to ‘yes and’ their ideas, especially if they are being brave and trying to express their uniqueness. I kind of get upset that most people don’t take the time to truly compliment people, to make someone else look and feel good. It costs nothing. I even compliment strangers. I remember complimenting an older lady all in yellow at a pub once, I went up to her and said, ‘Excuse me for interrupting you but can I just say you look amazing in yellow, it really suits you!’, and she just lit up and smiled saying thank you.

For some reason people are reticent to do this kind of ‘compliment bomb’ but I feel like it is my duty as a fellow human being to point out beauty, achievement, and loveliness when and wherever I see it. Because really, we are all dancing in this crazy world together, we are all dancing with many partners. It’s just a nice thing to do to be kind and make others look good.

When it comes to improv, making your partner look good has some great performance effects:

• When you try and ‘make your partner look good’ in scenes (in other words ‘yes and’ and build on their ideas) it makes you look good!  And interestingly, it makes you look like a much better player!
• When your intention in a scene is to make the other person look good, you get out of your own head and you start to listen more, again, making you a better player!
• Even if sometimes you get stuck in a scene with someone you don’t really like playing with, if you try to make them look good and make their ideas shine not only do they look better but you will look awesome!
  

Making your partner look good in improv (and in life) really works! Why not give it a go?

An improv exercise:

Mirror, Mirror.
This can be done in real life or even online.

In a pair make one person partner A and one person partner B. Partner A starts by moving their hands around slowly in patterns, partner B follows. Then at a random point partner B leads the movement and partner A follows. Then back to partner A leading, then B then A and so on, gradually having less time in between swapping leadership. Until eventually you say ‘no leader’ and see what happens and how each person shares leading and following.
This is very meditative as an exercise and can feel very connective. Especially when you look into each other’s eyes.

If you are an intimate couple this is a beautiful exercise to do for instant connection.

*Here's the thing though, keep your movements slow and flowing. The faster you go the harder it is for your partner to keep up and they lose the synch. I have seen this done once where a guy started doing burpees and his partner was an older lady who could not follow! What a way to not care about your partner or make them look good! And what a way to make yourself look like an A-hole! Lol.

So, give Mirror, Mirror a go and make your partner look good!