Silence is Golden

Silence is golden. That’s what they say right? Well, I think they must be the sort of people who don’t love expressing themselves with the dulcet tones of their vocals in conversation or commentating their existence while alone, laughing bombastically, or singing or ranting or whatever!
I was just joking (actually, I was dead serious- they thought I was joking) to some friends the other day about me never ever going to silent retreat as I would never be able to shut up that long and that I would go crazy!
It seems as if the universe was listening and laughing because here I sit in silence. Not by choice, but any kind of vocalisation leads to a tirade of incessant coughing that has brought me to the edge of vomiting on more than one occasion!
Today is the 1st day I have been silent. The last few days I have managed to speak a paragraph before these disgusting coughing fits. I am silent out of necessity believe me.
This hideous stranger (some cold, virus, bacteria-who knows- but not COVID- I’ve tested negative twice- thank goodness!) has trespassed upon my self-expression and made me mute! A situation I have found frustrating to say the least and explains why I probably worsened my condition by speaking sporadically the last few days. My email handle is lindsaybigvoice for crying out loud! Anyone who knows me would know right now I am less than impressed with this situation.
However, unlike Dido- there is a white flag above my door. I have given up speaking (at least for today…lol….so far) and it seems to be helping. I have only had 2 vomit inducing coughing fits today so that is progress. I have now managed almost a full day of no speech and I hate to admit it, but it hasn’t been that bad. In fact, I remembered my Auslan (Australian sign language) alphabet that I learned when I was about 11 or 12 years old! Incredible how we just remember some things. It has been hilarious (inner laughter) watching Luke my husband try to decipher my own brand of Auslan meets charades and mime. When it gets too bad, I use our kitchen note pad.
Interesting how when you surrender and improvise you can find things of interest or fun! I am certainly not saying #i’ve got this but focusing on the things I can do to communicate utilises more creativity and takes my mind off the frustration of not expressing myself in my default way.
So even though I have had to cancel all my improv clients and classes this week I am still improvising….lol. Just not in a way I expected. And I am hoping the miming will improve my ‘object work’ (what we call miming an activity or holding an imaginary cup) in improv. Although at the moment either I am crap at object work or Luke is bad at Charades….lol.
I’m hopeful for a speedy recovery and that I can keep up the silence. Sometimes I think we forget that dialogue is only part of the story when it comes to communication. And to be honest if I asked vocally for Luke to make scones the 2nd night in a row instead of writing him a cute note and looking at him like puss in boots does when he does ‘cute face’ I wouldn’t fancy my chances, but this new communication style seems to have done the trick. I can smell them in the oven already. Love you Luke my scone angel.

Now probably most of you don’t have the full aversion I have to a silent retreat, and I of all people aren’t suggesting such a thing…lol. But perhaps we should all have a look at how we are relying on our dialogue to communicate more than our gestures. And I feel like there is a metaphor here somewhere……
Where are we just talking the talk, not waking the walk?
And as improvisers how can we complement our dialogue with physicality and embodiment, especially on Zoom?
Think about it.
And if you are keen to go on a silent retreat then all power to you! Have fun!
Much silent love.
Lindsay. x